Family reunion

Are we planning a family reunion this year? We for one family needs to plan around family trips, kids vacations and Bianca's 21st BD.

Family

I enjoy this blog and would like it kept active. I do read it to keep up on family. I enjoy the pictures, I just have so little time and to tell you the truth, I am not sure what to say to family. We're like strangers at times. But I love you all and hope we decide to be more active on this family blog !

Merry Christmas Beloved Family!

Well we'll be posting pictures on Facebook ... tonight is our family sleepover. I am thinking of all of you and hoping your holidays are great. Happy New Year too ...

Jess in a wreck/serously hurt

Please pray for Jess. He was in a serous wreck today and I am not real sure how bad he is hurt, but I know he is badly hurt. Lauria has been in touch with the hospital. She'll keep us posted.

Thank you so much but am I dying or something ? LOL !!!

I want to really thank everyone in my family for supporting me in this quest for opinions and information on diclosures. My son will really appreciate that he is coming home to such a loving and supportive family. And you have to know how much it has touched my heart that you all cared enough to share your thoughts with me in this way.

My cup runneth over ..

I have to tell you, yesterday one of my clients actually asked me how I was doing. A rare thing in my work. I didn't even know what to say; no one cares how I am doing or feeling.

And then one of my daughters and my daughter-in-law just called just to see how I was and to talk ... for no reason or to ask for anything.

My husband has been kind and patient with me even though I haven't been home for weeks. ( Course I always got along with men better when we lived apart ) lol !

And today, I got a great letter from an x who took my love and trust ... the only man that could or will again ... then broke my heart, leaving me pretty cold and unloving; asking me for forgiveness. His first contact in 5 years.

Am I dying ? Maybe I am; heaven knows I'm not going to any doctor to find out. LOL !!!

Actually I feel fine, just tired from so much work and emotional stuff in my life. But for me there is only two options, do what I need to do daily to get through another day or drop dead trying !!

Thanks again;

By the way, I would welcome anyone of the family to come to my home and learn the ropes of this business. It really is a great business to be in. If you stay healthy enough to care for others; it's a great stay-at-home job. And where ever you live near family, a family operation is great. Lots of providers do it as a husband / wife team. I do not advise anyone to rely on just a 2 person team. You have to get away; unless you're me ofcourse. And if you get up at night, you can't really go all day long too. The mental / emotional needs and wear are harder then the phyical ones.

I have this down to an art. I'd be happy to help anyone who would like to get into this work. There is a need for care of those others won't or can't care for, yet who don't belong or want to go to facility care.

Life & Times @ my house

Life is pretty good right now. Doesn't mean everything is good about my life; but when you work all the time, you are able to pay your bills and the kids and gr. kids are doing ok; life is good, for me!

I'm really excited about my son joining our lives. There's something I wanted to explore with anyone who cares to voice an opinion.

My son has been going through a year of intensive therapy; learning to rethink processes that took him down the path he took and to retrain his way of thinking. Peter,

you are very aware of what he has gone through, he communicates with you on these matters. But I have an issue with some of the things he is learning and where they want him to take what he has learned. I could use some help here and advice on how to help him. Or how others feel about what they are teaching him.

He is learning about how to take responsibility for what he has done in his past. Not justifying his actions or making excuses for what he did. I feel this is all good. To change criminal thinking or even addictive thinking ... you must be able to not put blame or give reasons as to why this or that happened. He is learning how to understand his triggers and how important it is to change lifestyle rather then just believe things won't happen again.

My problem is; Things he did as a teenager, were things many young people do. He made some very poor choices and some of them ended in the tragedy of his life. My son got caught up when he left home in drugs, gangs and even the occult; which led to the life he led which led to the crimes he committed. His life was saved. God saved him for a reason, when so many other mother's sons have lost their lives to the streets. Some day I'll write a book. It's been quite the journey that we owe all the credit to God and the prayers of so many.

But through this therapy he is getting; they are going thru disclosure. I am all for being honest for those things we must disclose. But do we really need to disclose all the facts of our lives to others / everyone .. to be able to move forward honestly? My feeling is; you don't.

I would be interested in the opinions of others on this matter. He feels the need to come clean with everyone. I am not so sure everyone even wants to know the details of another life. I will advise my son according to how I feel about this as I gather more knowledge on the subject of full disclosure.

I feel life changes and evolves and we are not the same people we were in our younger years; or hopefully not so. so why would it be important for others know all your sins? My son has done his time, he has paid dearly for his crimes and he is not the same young man he was. He already will have the stigma of being a felon. Is it necessary for him to wear a Scarlett letter for all to know his crimes?

Help me here; my family! I want my son to have the best chance to live a normal life as possible. He is a good loving christian man that deserves that chance. It seems the prison system would like to make him feel he is dirty for the rest of his life by making the crimes he committed make him a ' bad person '. He is not that person, so why should he put those things out there for others to judge him. No one but God has that right, in my opinion. He has lived all his adult life being labeled.

This is where my head will be for a while. I'm not so sure I can see clearly being his mother. I also have been working 24 hour a day for over 6 weeks again due to no resident manager here right now. So I'm a little worn out anyway.

I did take a 3 day trip to Phoenix. I had a great time but it was no vacation. I took 3 granddaughters with me. So my days were non stop entertainment for 5 grandchildren. Coming home to 24 hour shifts was a vacation comparatively. Outside of that break I am here 24/7 for 50 days now.

The economy is bad but few answers to my ads for work. Course this is more then just work. No 9-5 here.

wedding date !

OK ...just wanted to let everyone know, we've decided to wed on June 21st. I'm not sure where it will be, our home or a chapel. I'll send out invites, but I understand the timing is not good !!

Anxiety : coffee, alcohol and sugar, The American Diet!

I actually love the rush of lots of coffee compounded by a sugar high brought down in the evening by a glass of red wine ! but I know what it does to my body. I amso body aware .. I can regulate my moods according to the food and ' stuff ' I put into it. But lots of people are not aware that pasta, potatos, rice and bread are all foods that break down to sugars, give little nutrition and raises the bllod sugar. Fruit juices that everyone thinks are so great are rarely fruit and mostly sugar. Most diet substitutes, drinks the candy bars etc are all carbs and the non sugar sugar are deadly. Processed foods have so much stuff in them they can sit on the shelves for years; how do you think your body can process them. Meats lie in the intestines for days, rotting while the stuff that makes them tender goes to the blood stream and pollutes. But hey, Dr and insurance companies are rich; who really cares about the ignorant people putting this crap into their bodies? How in the world do you think anyone can sell real food for less then a dollar?

So I really think most people now days have racing hearts, intestinal issues and mood swings .. and it's starts with the food. Put everyone on a diet of real food and I'll bet few suffer the common stuff we all share .. except maybe the extra vertbra and other weaknesses; again triggered by bad habits and diet.

But that's just my over-educated opinion!
LOL!!

Trials !

It's when I look back on my trials and realize I survived, got beyond and at times can barely remember the pain; I feel it is all part of letting go and letting God, which, for a control freak, is so hard alone. I pray to God to help me, give me faith to let Him. Is that weird? Some Christians feel that is weird, that we need to trust God without question? I've never been one to blindly follow, so I have to go to the source and understand He knows my heart. If I question His will .. He is the one who must change my heart. But He also lets me see the pattern of His will and how His way is so much better then mine. He has led me like a child carefully, very openly, not subtly at all. I see in each step of the way how my life is evolving into a different person. I can look back on things I did, lifestyles I led and it is like looking in on another's life. Is that me, really? Well, I guess maybe it isn't relly me, because the me I am today is not the person I was so very few years ago?

So, for all the heartbreak, the questions as to why I have to go through what I have gone through in my life, why I have lost, been hurt, had to live such a weary long hard life .. is now coming to an understanding. I can look back and see the whys. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm sure there is still loss and heartbreak ahead. I just hope I can hang onto the understanding ther is a reason .. the ' why' if and when my trials are there. And now whatever my children are going through, I am there to encourgage them to just push forwards, try to make better choises and understand God has a plan.

Course the me in me still must untangle the net and lay it all out to see the path clearly and to why the why's happen. I think that is ok .. after all I was born ME! That was not my choise, but God's. So I hope He understands the part of me, like a child, will always ask how does this work, why does this do this and that! Or maybe I'll evolve even further and quit caring.

I'm happy for all my own, that we are in touch and I can what makes you all tick. An interesting bunch of misfits! LOL !! Sandy, Illa, Karen and Jess and Rick all deserve awards; and Rick you have always been one of us in many ways, but thanks for being a very special part of this family for longer then we have even. Putting up with someone with post traumatic stress disorder from a fragmented early life and adoption is not even one the Dr. understand totally. It is great we now actually have each other for the support system we never had before and the only otrehr opnes that could actually understand what the other has faced.

Life & Prayers amidst the chaos !

I have been too busy to even think of much outside the borders of my own space. When I speak to my Creator, I ask him to be with those I love and don't love. I can't possibly list the names of those who need my prayers. But my mind races over the lists of those in need and I am sure if my mind can work that fast; God's is even faster: knowing my thoughts prior to my thinking them. At times I feel a little guilty for speed praying. But I do it often throughout the day, so I know God knows my mind is always going back to silent prayer for those in need of intervention.

Moving into my own place after ... 53 years! This is the very first time I have ever had my own home with no one but my man. It is wonderful. It was parents, to kids .. to my Adult Foster Care Home. Course now, I get up at 6:30 to get to work by 7 - 7:30. Work till 7:30 or 7 days a week or like this last week from Fri. 7 am. to last night at 7 pm. This trying to work less is really harder. I get home, drop to enjoy my beautiful property with my beautiful man .. with a glass of wone or a cold beer, on my deck. It's 10 degrees or so cooler at my place, but a cold beer is still wonderful after sweating all day at work, where the residents are cold with the fans blowing and I'm sweating through meals, laundry and showers. Then get up fix him supper; too late for me to eat! And crawl to bed and sleep in the loving arms of my man! This time too short and up again to start over. My days off I have been trying to unpack and make a home at my new home. It is lovely. I hope everyone can stop by some time.

So I don't get on the computer much. I've lost track of time and can't rememeber birhtdays, weddings or anything outside of my own space. But please know, my thoughts and prayers are with everyone; in their happiness and in the their bad times. I speed think, but you are included; all of you. I missed Jim's son's wedding. Just couldn't get away. However if I had time to think, I could have acknowledged it, but time splipped away. And birthdays; I never know anyone's.

So a reunion is a great time to say .. I care ! Maybe someday I'll get the hang of posting and can say ' Happy Birthday ' from here.

It's great that we are actually getting to know each other a little better anyway. This blogging is like journaling .. only allowing others to read your thoughts. KOOL !!LOL !

So Happy Mother's Day, Happy Birthday, Happy Father's Day and Congradulations, Get Well Soon, My thoughts are with you and ... Happy 4th .. all that applies .. to each that it applies to !

See you all soon !

Lisi

I heard Lisi is in the hospital again. After a stay in nursing care, she went back home, but now she is back in the hospital. Please say a little prayer for her and Lili and Jess, who faithfully stay by her side and do all they can to make her comfortable. I have offered whatever I could: time, money, etc. But Lili says they are doing ok. So I guess what's left is good wishes and prayers. I think it's harder for Lueuria then the rest. She is the one who is kinda on the outside, but is so concerned for her mom. I know we are all there for her support.

I am looking forwards to our reunion and pray we are all there this year. I know we all have issues, family, personal and health. Even without the details; I hope we all just rememeber to say a prayer for all our loved ones. I know my family could use that umbrella of prayers and faith from each of you and I will prayer my faith and prayers will reach each of you and yours.