At times I think that there are more reasons to not attend these times when we get together and renew our relationship with our biological siblings and family. But then when I go I find more completion to who i am, and why i am how i am,
Yes, we are all differant and unusual. But so is life. I see our mother in all of us, and it makes me appreciate her more and more. Her Love her tenderness, her acceptance, her joy, her careing and her willingness to allow us to have a better life than which she could provide for all of us.
It wanst by chance that we all were in the homes we were. God knew that these homes would give us a little bit of that extended love that mom wasnt able to provide and yet keep us all together. Even if it was in our later years that we would all reunite.
I think that the best way that we can honor our mother is by continuing to have these annual reunions, no matter the cost the distance or the location, whos going to be there or not be there. I know that some of us have to sacrifice to make these events take place, but isnt that what life is about is sacrifice.
Some things only happen once in our life, and for those we need to be understanding and know that there is always next year or the year after. But know this. in our hearts your still there.
13 comments:
Great opinion. Instead of reflecting, you're ahead of the game, you're preflecting.
Jim
I'm not sure, but the "opinion" seems to me to be from Peter. It is hard for me to think of the reunion as "honoring" a biological mother. I really can't say I go to honor her. I see no reason to lie and throw flowers about when I talk or think of her. To me she is just a stranger that people say was our mother. I have gone, so far, hating the idea of going. Yet, after it is over, I have, so far, been glad I went.
I will say,yes, we need to be understanding for those that don't make it, however, no one can say there is always next year. Each year could be the last year for any of us. Maybe that's why I go, so far.
Nope, wasn't me!
But since the point was brought up: Regardless whether it's mom or a fallen soldier or whomever, honoring the dead is dependent on the perceptions of those alive to see the value in the life of the one gone. There are ten of us, we all have differing perceptions -and as you know, perception ALWAYS trumps reality. For instance, Dick may a perception of mom being a protector, since she saved him many times from his big brother. Even childhood perceptions can't be discounted, since they create good or bad feelings and memories. Remember the movie, 'Home Alone', how the little boy perceived the old man across the street? And how he perceived his family and his mother?
In movies there are quick and precise resolutions to wrong perceptions, but in real life, lies and half truths about people don't die so easily. Some of you know, when I was 9, I visited the girls for a couple of weeks. One night when Betty was tucking me in, she leaned over the bed and tried to convince me, and told me flat out, "your mother doesn't love you", and I should stay with her. Having spent some time with mom, I didn't buy it. However, my Perception of Betty was forever altered. I can't help but be thankful that I only had two weeks with her. But one last note on that, Dick has convinced me that there was more to Betty than those two weeks I stayed with her, and that she is a good women. In fact, people are very complicated and always more than our childhood memories tell us.
Mom's dead; and her course is now run; now she's giving account to God. It wont be long, we'll all be standing before God and giving account, and very often that account is in the positive, even if we blow it a few times in our lives. Only God can give an accurate evaluation of a life.
As I see it, context is critically important to understand people, I suggest you read those letters I scanned for you all, it might help the perception. Regardless, God created family, and it just makes sense, there is supposed to be a bond. However, some of have a more difficult time than others to get to a place that, what God says, is normal. Some years ago, a Viet Nam Vet who's job was to flush out VC in the deep jungles. He told me that he stayed alive by never taking the path that is easy on our human natures. The whole time he was there, men would take these beater paths through the jungle, they either died, or were severely wounded by booby traps. He was one of the few survivors of the men he fought with. Why....because he never walked anywhere that was easy.
Ben, I appreciate your commitment to the family; I know it isn't easy, we all need a lot of work. Sometimes we're going to hurt each other, or make each other mad, or ignore someone, whatever. It's only in the movies where life, or families, becomes successful easily. But the person (or family) that takes the couch potato approach to relationships, will eventually die in their soul.
Peter Peter Peter Peter
Peter, thank you for your input there. I only put mine on because I am the type that does have trouble understanding the family that we should have been When I write what I write, it isn't to be mean, or anything like that at all, I am just trying to be open and honest and let you all know how I feel inside. I do try and understand others points of view, and I do appreciate them all, but that does not mean I agree. I don't feel I HAVE to agree, and yet, I want to know others views other. It is interesting to learn others views. I think it is important we all not try and pretend we are something we are not. Again, while I may not agree, I am wanting to know the inner person each of is really is. It is good someone knew our parents and that they had some kind of history with them.
boy talking about opening a can of worms!!!!
I didn't mean to offend any one. I was just preflecting.
Dick
Dick, that was you! Off with your head. I thought it was Ben's multiple personality disorder, and he was really arguing with himself.
Hey, I'm really looking forward to all us getting together and jawing around the campfire. Let's change the subject though; like, politics or religion; you know, something safe. How about those cubs?
actually I have never seen a can of worms...., however, I do like debates. Even with Dick.
I like turtles.
they had been a good group, but the monkeys had be too !!
I have a real problem talking about the past. After all, it has passed, and there's nothing that can be changed about it. You can learn from the past for the present, but can't change anything about it.
So, if the conversation wanes to the past, and I grow seemingly sullen and silent it's nothing personal, it's me, I've been there and done that and I'm ready to move on...even to religion or politics.
Jim
So..., can we talk about the future ?!! lol Or would that be against the rules because it is coming up and that would spoil it ?!! as you say Jim, just kidding, we each have our unique quirks and I think that is interesting.
I was the same way about certain topics. When I digress, it is my way of analyzing also.
Jim/Ben brings up an interesting topic; can we talk about the future if we were time travelers and we went into the past?
We better save the time travel conversation for the evening fire pit. Peter
Post a Comment