Lueria was so sweet and called me while they were up visiting Ben then handed the phone to him when he woke up so both Rick and I got to talk to him for a brief moment. Just to hear his voice was so bitter sweet. It is so hard not to see him, I have tried everything possible to get there but nothing is working out. This is so hard on all of us but I am so grateful for the closeness we have been blessed to have now. Like the saying goes, it is not the beginning of life that counts but the end of life and what we have done to find that love and connection to each other. Being able to forgive the past and look forward to a life ahead that will have no more sickness and death. A life that we will have eternity together. That is what I look forward to. This life is just a drop in the bucket to prepare us for what God really intends for our life with only joy and peace and happiness ahead, a time when distance and time have no meaning and pain and sorrow doesn't exist.
Illa, I pray for you constantly, that God give you the strength and the peace in the time of your life. It is so comforting to know you are there for Ben, I know he loves you with all his heart, he has told me this many times. Please take care of yourself.
I got a wonderful surprise today. Kara and the boys called me. I didn't know they had moved to the Phoenix area. I'm sure this is hard on Suzy but they seem really happy and Kara has a great job there. They moved to Scottsdale which is east of 1-17 and just NE of Phoenix. We just went by the our last trip out. Anyway was great talking to them, those boys are something else, they even called me on my birthday to wish me happy bday. Not to many kids like that these days that show love like that to old folk, that really touched my heart and I shows how well Kara has raised them.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Suzy
I tried to call you, as I knew that people were going by our way, but your phone was turned off or something, I called the number I had, and she said that you and judy were off for the weekend. All my phone number's and address on my iphone, it went in the drink. So, I had no way to connect. I had wanted to get the birds to you. Do, you turn your phone off or what??? I could not even leave a message. I will be getting another but in the meantime, could you send me your email address, so at least I can connect that way. Lili
Lis, she looks great
We made it up to see her, Saturday. She's going to the hearing of the 11th, the hospitals crazy, if they don't let her out. There getting everything in place, she has a program from her place for 6-9 months. Also looking to be retrained, it will be good for her. I know that she can do it, the med change has done her a world of good. It's what she needed, it has been needed to be addressed for a long time, with the progress of her health. I just wished, she would have been willing to more a lot sooner, but you know she did wish to stay close to her friends, and she did have a wonderful group there in Longview.
Jess and I see the Lawyer Tuesday to find out what is going to take place now. It's great to have her away from the toxic issues there.
Jess and I going to remove the one bedroom, and put the stuff where she wishes it, do the dusting, put fresh food in the place so she has something to eat, until her care provider can take her shopping and deal with life. So, when she does get home, all she has to do is hang her cloths, and know that the supplies she needs to up keep the house is there.
We are removing everything from our home, and putting in the new floor through the whole house, it will be quite a project, also a rubber padding in the garage. Repair the ceiling, finish the wall's, fix up then it's just the gutters. If we can after that, weather depending, repaint the outside. then it will just be the yard.
We are planning on fixing and getting it ready for the addition in the landscape, and lining up the new layout for all that.
Jess's dad, going back to California for the winter soon, once her goes out there, he's looking at setting the place up for a Museum, with my help. We are going to put it in the trust that nothing can be sold, also, sorry Lueria, uncle said all on the
place will stay the same. We have a lot of work that we will be working on, with this place, and if we get the place in Longview.
I need to go back to work, so Jess can play. I am working on the plan's for the future places, as he'd like to work with stained glass, and we will be doing so. He does wish to stay home, and I will support this.
Jess would like to do a bike run next year to the east, it would be great. I told him if he fixed the bikes up, then the harley!!!!
We don't want to hire the work out, he wants to do it,....with my help. Jess and I will also try to get down to see Ben again.
Love Lili
Jess and I are
Jess and I see the Lawyer Tuesday to find out what is going to take place now. It's great to have her away from the toxic issues there.
Jess and I going to remove the one bedroom, and put the stuff where she wishes it, do the dusting, put fresh food in the place so she has something to eat, until her care provider can take her shopping and deal with life. So, when she does get home, all she has to do is hang her cloths, and know that the supplies she needs to up keep the house is there.
We are removing everything from our home, and putting in the new floor through the whole house, it will be quite a project, also a rubber padding in the garage. Repair the ceiling, finish the wall's, fix up then it's just the gutters. If we can after that, weather depending, repaint the outside. then it will just be the yard.
We are planning on fixing and getting it ready for the addition in the landscape, and lining up the new layout for all that.
Jess's dad, going back to California for the winter soon, once her goes out there, he's looking at setting the place up for a Museum, with my help. We are going to put it in the trust that nothing can be sold, also, sorry Lueria, uncle said all on the
place will stay the same. We have a lot of work that we will be working on, with this place, and if we get the place in Longview.
I need to go back to work, so Jess can play. I am working on the plan's for the future places, as he'd like to work with stained glass, and we will be doing so. He does wish to stay home, and I will support this.
Jess would like to do a bike run next year to the east, it would be great. I told him if he fixed the bikes up, then the harley!!!!
We don't want to hire the work out, he wants to do it,....with my help. Jess and I will also try to get down to see Ben again.
Love Lili
Jess and I are
Saturday, August 30, 2008
nothin
well heres a little break in the drama that is taking place in the family right now.
Afriend of mine that i havnt seen for about 8 months and asked me to go fishing today. i jumped at the chance to just get away from this city.
we went to the salmon river where it runs into the ocean. It takes about an hour to get to the coast from here, so we got to catch up on life and work,
we got there and the wheater was beautiful. the temp was about 65 - 70 degrees and sunny. water was calm and beautiful. for the next 6 hours i spent the time beating the water with corkies. AND CATCHING NOTHING.
it really dosnt matter, cus it was nice just to get away from all the stress and tension of living in this city.
OH!!! did i tell you i hate portland?
after fishing we went and had dinner in lincoln city. then home. i definitaly needed to get out on the river and plan on doing more.
Im glad about the report about Ben and it sounds like hes making progress. Give him my love.
Dick
Afriend of mine that i havnt seen for about 8 months and asked me to go fishing today. i jumped at the chance to just get away from this city.
we went to the salmon river where it runs into the ocean. It takes about an hour to get to the coast from here, so we got to catch up on life and work,
we got there and the wheater was beautiful. the temp was about 65 - 70 degrees and sunny. water was calm and beautiful. for the next 6 hours i spent the time beating the water with corkies. AND CATCHING NOTHING.
it really dosnt matter, cus it was nice just to get away from all the stress and tension of living in this city.
OH!!! did i tell you i hate portland?
after fishing we went and had dinner in lincoln city. then home. i definitaly needed to get out on the river and plan on doing more.
Im glad about the report about Ben and it sounds like hes making progress. Give him my love.
Dick
Update from PnK- Hey try this
We got into 'hot' Redding today, after spending the night near Medford last night. We were totally exhausted since Karen and I visited with some friend we hadn't spent time with them for many years. We had some issues with them that needed sorted, so it was very stressful.
We got to see been on Saturday, but first we ran into Lueria and Rich as they were waiting for a fellow to change Ben's bandages. He had come in on his day off to change them, he broght his children with him and they waited for him.
The Doc who did the surgery came in later. After he checked Ben out, he said he was doing good and seem pleased with the junk that was I coming out of Ben (cleaner). he said Ben was getting plenty of nourishment from the drip. He told Ben that he needed to get up and walk.
I took Karen back to the motel room after awhile, then went back to Ben's room. I talked to the nurse and asked if Ben could get walking, he said that the rehab guy had been in earlier that day. So I went back to Ben's room and made him arm wrestle me. Basically I asked him to try to pull my arm down, while I tried to resist. I was suprised how strong his arms were! Then I went down to his feet and had him push against my hands, while I stood firm. Anyway, any amount of of blood circulation in his body is better than nothing, so when you go there, how abou you trying? Get those muscle moving!!!
Later we had dinner with Lueria and Rich. It's always great to spend time with them.
We're heading back Sunday morning, so are RnL. Remember, any way you can get Ben to move his muscles, make him do it. Try not to do anything for him that he can do himself, for instance, make him reach for his own phone, his own water - whatever. Any little bit helps! The doc says he's got to make himself exercise.
Yes Su, though it's not a guy thing, I wrote in the book.
We got to see been on Saturday, but first we ran into Lueria and Rich as they were waiting for a fellow to change Ben's bandages. He had come in on his day off to change them, he broght his children with him and they waited for him.
The Doc who did the surgery came in later. After he checked Ben out, he said he was doing good and seem pleased with the junk that was I coming out of Ben (cleaner). he said Ben was getting plenty of nourishment from the drip. He told Ben that he needed to get up and walk.
I took Karen back to the motel room after awhile, then went back to Ben's room. I talked to the nurse and asked if Ben could get walking, he said that the rehab guy had been in earlier that day. So I went back to Ben's room and made him arm wrestle me. Basically I asked him to try to pull my arm down, while I tried to resist. I was suprised how strong his arms were! Then I went down to his feet and had him push against my hands, while I stood firm. Anyway, any amount of of blood circulation in his body is better than nothing, so when you go there, how abou you trying? Get those muscle moving!!!
Later we had dinner with Lueria and Rich. It's always great to spend time with them.
We're heading back Sunday morning, so are RnL. Remember, any way you can get Ben to move his muscles, make him do it. Try not to do anything for him that he can do himself, for instance, make him reach for his own phone, his own water - whatever. Any little bit helps! The doc says he's got to make himself exercise.
Yes Su, though it's not a guy thing, I wrote in the book.
Hello from Redding
Hi guys,
We're in Redding, spent the evening with Ben. He looks good--tired but good. He was very groggy and spent the majority of the time dozing. I'm not sure he knew we were there, or if he'll remember what he saw, or said while we were there. He may think it was all a "good" dream... =)
We were both glad to see him again, and to kid around with him a little. And mostly just pass time there. We'll go back this morning, before we have to head home.
Lueria and her family also came in last night late, but we haven't seen them yet. We're hoping to make connections this morning.
Love and hugs from Jim and Sandi
We're in Redding, spent the evening with Ben. He looks good--tired but good. He was very groggy and spent the majority of the time dozing. I'm not sure he knew we were there, or if he'll remember what he saw, or said while we were there. He may think it was all a "good" dream... =)
We were both glad to see him again, and to kid around with him a little. And mostly just pass time there. We'll go back this morning, before we have to head home.
Lueria and her family also came in last night late, but we haven't seen them yet. We're hoping to make connections this morning.
Love and hugs from Jim and Sandi
Friday, August 29, 2008
Yes, sis suzy is right, great location to stop
It was great to see Suzy, and food is good there, getting off and on Hwy 1-5 is easy. A good break on the drive, and it was great to see her. It was late coming back, and our cat was not doing well, so we drove home as fast as we could. He died after we got home, just made it. So, at least he was able to be get home, we were aware that he was not doing well. Now Tinker is requesting a lot of love as she loved that cat, loosing the put from two years was hard, so we are going her a lot of love. Lili,... Suzy is busy, but it's great to stop and see her, make a point of it, OK you all!!!!!
Lisi
Jess and I are going to see Lis Saturday, and I am going to ask if Lis can go on the blog and post to Ben, with everything that is going on. So keep your hopes up, talked to Bonnie today, they are heading all over the place with their loads, having trouble with the loads to connect with delivery to locations and can't find one going your way Ben and Illa. We talk each day, as it's easier on the road with her connection. All of you, if you can Call Bonnie, at the hospital to talk to Ben or Illa, so she can talk, she would understand if Ben was sleeping.
I love you all, I know what Illa is going through, as that was my work in Portland, while I lived there, and working with the Doctor's I worked for. It's not easy AND I am glad Illa you are there to see what's going on. I know that they do not always catch what we see, when we work and are with someone all the time. My work was hospice in the home, and working with people, that had multi. Doctors. I loved the people that I worked with, and the Doctors were the greatest.
I look forward to when I can go into some other line, but they know if any of them called me, I'd step in for them. They were quite aware of my training as the family is not aware. That is why Jess has more understanding, as he said, it's something he could not do. That I understand.
Love Ill, you and the families are so special to me, as I do not have family but Jess. I do and am working on stuff, at this time. Pray that it works out, for the future. God has blessed me and I see this, I love and look forward to where He will direct. If all goes I will be busy, Jess wants and understands, I may need to travail again, he wants to stay home. I will support him in what he wishes and he knows this. We do have a special connection Jess and I, so you all understand, we love you all. Lili
I love you all, I know what Illa is going through, as that was my work in Portland, while I lived there, and working with the Doctor's I worked for. It's not easy AND I am glad Illa you are there to see what's going on. I know that they do not always catch what we see, when we work and are with someone all the time. My work was hospice in the home, and working with people, that had multi. Doctors. I loved the people that I worked with, and the Doctors were the greatest.
I look forward to when I can go into some other line, but they know if any of them called me, I'd step in for them. They were quite aware of my training as the family is not aware. That is why Jess has more understanding, as he said, it's something he could not do. That I understand.
Love Ill, you and the families are so special to me, as I do not have family but Jess. I do and am working on stuff, at this time. Pray that it works out, for the future. God has blessed me and I see this, I love and look forward to where He will direct. If all goes I will be busy, Jess wants and understands, I may need to travail again, he wants to stay home. I will support him in what he wishes and he knows this. We do have a special connection Jess and I, so you all understand, we love you all. Lili
ben and illa
just want to give my encouragement to ben and illa in this tough time. keep thinking happy memories. my love to you all. jesse
Ben and Illa
I will be going up to see Lis, and if she's out, I hope to bring her down to see Ben and you, if she wants to. Will know more what is going on. I do hope that Bonnie can make it, to Portland, so that I can bring her down to you. We are working to bringing the family together, God, willing. Illa, please know how special you and your family are to Jess and me, also to all of us in the family. I know that we share each moment in our thoughts and in Spirit, I also know the angels of each of us and there are a lot in this family are by your side and a few more, as we can't be there as we would like. I have asked my angel to be by your side, in Gods hands we place you, your family and all. At night been I go to bed, I pray for me to be there in prayer, not our will but Gods. Love you my dear dear sister-in-law for life. Lili
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Thurs. 8-28
Ben had a better day than yesterday. He was not awake as long but when he slept it was better sleep. He did get up to walk today but was so weak and had trouble getting his thoughts into action. You could see that he knew what he wanted to do but could not get his body to respond and had to think on how to get it to. He wasn't as hot today either. He is more yellow tho. I asked the Dr. today about it and what the nuclear test was for that was done a few days ago. The Dr. was looking at the gall bladder and the liver. The gall bladder has stones in it. One or the other is not functioning right causing the liver to not process the bilirubin in the blood and filter it out.
Ben is really skin and bones now. He did manage to walk about 80 feet the PT said but I thought it was shorter and it was really a task for Ben to put one foot in front of the other. He had to be steadied so as not to fall. He sat up for 2 hours and slept the majority of the time. I gave him his bath while he was in the chair and put his hair in a pony tail with a pink band. I left other colors there too but he wanted pink. Takes a MAN to wear pink he says.
I learned today that the Dr.s have been giving him Zoloft for depression. I would say he has a lot to be depressed about.
I just spoke to Leuria this evening and she is coming down on Sat. after work. It will take here 8-10 hours to get here. Told her where the key to the room would be and for her to get it so she can rest after getting in. Jim and Sandi will be here Friday evening. Don't know yet if Peter and Karen will make it but the room will be availabe for you too.
I thank you all for coming to visit and especially Bonnie if she is able to make it here. That would be a great surprise for Ben. Thank you all for your support as I don't know how I would make it everyday without knowing that you are there. I truly in my heart don't believe that Ben will make it out of the hospital. I try to keep positive thoughts but deep down I am sure that this is the time that we knew was coming. I really hoped and prayed that his last days would not be this way but who knows. Maybe God in his wisdom has a reason. It may never be clear to us but there again maybe this was what was needed for this family to pull together as one. We may never know. But I am very thankful for this family. Every one of you. We love each and every one. Good night everyone.
Ben and Illa
Ben is really skin and bones now. He did manage to walk about 80 feet the PT said but I thought it was shorter and it was really a task for Ben to put one foot in front of the other. He had to be steadied so as not to fall. He sat up for 2 hours and slept the majority of the time. I gave him his bath while he was in the chair and put his hair in a pony tail with a pink band. I left other colors there too but he wanted pink. Takes a MAN to wear pink he says.
I learned today that the Dr.s have been giving him Zoloft for depression. I would say he has a lot to be depressed about.
I just spoke to Leuria this evening and she is coming down on Sat. after work. It will take here 8-10 hours to get here. Told her where the key to the room would be and for her to get it so she can rest after getting in. Jim and Sandi will be here Friday evening. Don't know yet if Peter and Karen will make it but the room will be availabe for you too.
I thank you all for coming to visit and especially Bonnie if she is able to make it here. That would be a great surprise for Ben. Thank you all for your support as I don't know how I would make it everyday without knowing that you are there. I truly in my heart don't believe that Ben will make it out of the hospital. I try to keep positive thoughts but deep down I am sure that this is the time that we knew was coming. I really hoped and prayed that his last days would not be this way but who knows. Maybe God in his wisdom has a reason. It may never be clear to us but there again maybe this was what was needed for this family to pull together as one. We may never know. But I am very thankful for this family. Every one of you. We love each and every one. Good night everyone.
Ben and Illa
HOME SWEET HOME
Found this little spot by mistake. I had to make a pit stop before i made a mistake. you cant see it but there is a little swamp in there.I left for my Sierra Nevada run on Sat. I was planning on seeing Ben and spending the weekend in redding having to pay for the extra day out of my own pocket. On friday my dispatcher told me i needed to make a drop on sat in grants pass. No problem. this way, since i needed to be in redding on monday morning anyway, the company paid for both nights in redding. woohoo.
I spent the day with Ben. Whether he new i was there or not it didnt matter. It was also good to be with Glenda and Tisha and Suzie and Darrel. We are really blessed to have Darrel as a Brother in Law.
Monday i made my deliveries to redding, 4 in Chico, 1 -Willows, 1-Sutter. stayed in Yuba City
Tuesday- 1-Marysville, 2-Rocklin, 4 in Sacramento, 1-Loomis and 2-Grass Valley stayed in Carson City
Wednesday - 1-Gardnerville NV, and 1-Fort Jones stayed over in Yreka
Thursday - 1-Montague and 1-K. Falls and HOOOOOMMME
what a week.
Illa - I came up 395 then up to Susanville and then up 44 and 89. Beautiful Drive. And yes they were doing construction. Oh and thank you so much for the updates. I know its hard, but thank you so much.
Dick
Illa and Ben
I have been keeping Lis, up to date, she sends her love. Know that she is there in heart. Bonnie said she may fly into Portland, and we will come to see you Ben, as she could not get a load your way. She sends you love, and know that you are in her prayers.
Illa know that we are there for you, all brothers-in-laws, and sister's-in-laws, know that you do understand this large family and what is going on. We know how special it is to have you all in the family. Also don't forget the pain we all feel, the kids are going through and their children, we love you and share this time with love.
WE are a special family, with a rainbow of children in it, from many faith's and belief's. How special it is, to be in this group that God loves so much. We are blessed in our family, as I see other families, that do not have this within their group. There will always be times we don't agree, but how special it is to see family be there for each other, and the connections that are there. Supporting though they may not always agree. How special this family is, the joy it is to be with this group. Love Lili
Illa know that we are there for you, all brothers-in-laws, and sister's-in-laws, know that you do understand this large family and what is going on. We know how special it is to have you all in the family. Also don't forget the pain we all feel, the kids are going through and their children, we love you and share this time with love.
WE are a special family, with a rainbow of children in it, from many faith's and belief's. How special it is, to be in this group that God loves so much. We are blessed in our family, as I see other families, that do not have this within their group. There will always be times we don't agree, but how special it is to see family be there for each other, and the connections that are there. Supporting though they may not always agree. How special this family is, the joy it is to be with this group. Love Lili
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Wed. 8-27
Ben had a hard day today. Started out awake and doing ok. PT got him up for a walk and stuff starting drainig out and making a mess. So he was put back to bed and the wound care nurse came to fix it. They changed a bunch of stuff, opened im up and moved stuff, pokedpulled. and prodded and hurt him pretty good. You could tell when he kept jumping when the touched certain areas. Even the pain meds didn't help.
I was right and there are at least two fistula's or holes in him intestines that are leaking into the abdomen. It is a mess. I kind of had an argument with the wound care nurse and is assistant about what to do. They wanted to do something to squash the intestine flat to help it to heal and stop Ben from having his ice chips and popsicles for 2 days and hope that it would help stop the stuff from going into the abdomen and go into the drains. I kept telling them the first colostomy was from the stomach and anything he ate went into it. And that I thought if they clamped down on the intestine to seal the holes then wouldn't that make the pressure build up and possibly create more holes in the weak spots instead of helping to heal them. They were asking what we wanted them to do or to do surgery to fix it. So I told them, talk to the surgeon to see what he thought. Turns out I was right about the first colostomy, and that putting pressure on the intestine would cause stuff to leak out into the abdomen. The drains they wanted to pull were in the abdomen that was sucking out the guck. So anyway a compromise was made and Ben didn't loose his ice chips and popcicles. Like I told them, the inside wasn't really my field of expertise but it was my understanding that the dr. was wanting all that stuff to come out to stop the gangrene and peritinitous.
Anyway, as Ben's incision was coming open and not healing they got the big stoma and the incision into one big suction thingy and it is looking better. Hard on Ben but looking better. He never did get up today and slept most of the day. He is very hot today also. You can tell there is a raging infection at all the openings. He was just totally wore out. Hope it will be better tomorrow after a good nights rest.
We got to talk to Glenda today for a few minutes. Glenda just times it right as Ben had just woke up. One of his "in" moments. He was cheered up for a few minutes then out again.
So that is pretty much it for today. I am going to bed. Hope everyone has a good night. Love to all.
Illa
I was right and there are at least two fistula's or holes in him intestines that are leaking into the abdomen. It is a mess. I kind of had an argument with the wound care nurse and is assistant about what to do. They wanted to do something to squash the intestine flat to help it to heal and stop Ben from having his ice chips and popsicles for 2 days and hope that it would help stop the stuff from going into the abdomen and go into the drains. I kept telling them the first colostomy was from the stomach and anything he ate went into it. And that I thought if they clamped down on the intestine to seal the holes then wouldn't that make the pressure build up and possibly create more holes in the weak spots instead of helping to heal them. They were asking what we wanted them to do or to do surgery to fix it. So I told them, talk to the surgeon to see what he thought. Turns out I was right about the first colostomy, and that putting pressure on the intestine would cause stuff to leak out into the abdomen. The drains they wanted to pull were in the abdomen that was sucking out the guck. So anyway a compromise was made and Ben didn't loose his ice chips and popcicles. Like I told them, the inside wasn't really my field of expertise but it was my understanding that the dr. was wanting all that stuff to come out to stop the gangrene and peritinitous.
Anyway, as Ben's incision was coming open and not healing they got the big stoma and the incision into one big suction thingy and it is looking better. Hard on Ben but looking better. He never did get up today and slept most of the day. He is very hot today also. You can tell there is a raging infection at all the openings. He was just totally wore out. Hope it will be better tomorrow after a good nights rest.
We got to talk to Glenda today for a few minutes. Glenda just times it right as Ben had just woke up. One of his "in" moments. He was cheered up for a few minutes then out again.
So that is pretty much it for today. I am going to bed. Hope everyone has a good night. Love to all.
Illa
Lisi
Lis told me some good news today, as she spoke to them. She's going back to her apartment in a few weeks, and they are looking at retraining her to work. She's been following the program and they are working really well on her issues and how she want to have her life for her. She's under the greatest team, and she will be lined up for the goals that she will be working with, with those in her team and care. It's great!!! She does need to be retrained and I know what a great person she is in going for these goals. Also she is looking forward to seeing about working in something with Bonnie and Rick, as we shared so much we enjoyed growing up.
Rick and Bonnie, she said to give you her love and is looking forward to when you come to Washington, State. I know it's a great place to work for and from. She wants to work with the both of you, as she feels she shares so much that we love so dear. She wants to get back into the music of her childhood, and yes... she does have a beautiful voice. Also she's planning on working at her music on the piano, Glenda, you know how much she loved it, when we were children.
She's looking to some fun time, and I want to see this. I know that she's close to the Lange boy's and yes, Bob, she does think of you. WE the four of us had a great time together when we could, and she does miss the years we did not have with Bonnie. Bonnie would be the best gift to her and for the support she wants to move forward in her life. She is looking to the time when Bonnie and Rick come, also she is looking forward to joining her brother's and sister's in the goals she wishes with support that she wants to live her life and how.
We are looking at fixing the place in St. Helens for the special needs and a B&B, to connect to Portland and Washington. So, we have connection to Portland, also Lis has special friends in Longview as I also have those to.
I look forward to the new doors that will open and Jess is looking forward to working with Rick and Bonnie, in the creative area that we all love, motor bikes and all. We may be slowing in our old age, but it doesn't mean we stop living, just needs to make some adjustment's. We are going to create a place where we CAN be in our own place, have the assertive needs built in, if need be. We do have friends that are and can step in for the nursing needs in these locations and will have this created for the locations and also for those that may come in later.
All I wish to see is the love and all grow between Lueria and sis, also Bonnie feels the need to connect with Lueria as she is so special to her. I know the fun we had when Lueria, Lisi, Amy and Bonnie and they also included me, thank you, in those times we shared together. I love see this connection coming back. She so has a special love to Lueria, and Lisi and I love to see this.
I can be aunty, and sister, how great that is. Lueria is so wonderful with her family, and I know that at times she does feel guilty, but we understand her busy schedule, and she knows that if she needed my support, I'm there. Bonnie wants to be there for Lis, for the love she has for Lueria so that I can be just auntie, one way or another we'll get the family back, (Rick and Bonnie), laugh!!! I love you Lueria,.... we are so lucky to have you in this family. Your mom and I are so proud of you, all you know we are. Rick, you are family here in this group, don't forget it!!!! Ben, thanks for all the love I know you share wish Lis, as you understand this with Lis,and you. Bonnie is like that with Lis, being a twin is so special to. But also it is life long, she wants to see you, if you are willing when she can. She sends her love.
Love to all Aunty and sister
Rick and Bonnie, she said to give you her love and is looking forward to when you come to Washington, State. I know it's a great place to work for and from. She wants to work with the both of you, as she feels she shares so much that we love so dear. She wants to get back into the music of her childhood, and yes... she does have a beautiful voice. Also she's planning on working at her music on the piano, Glenda, you know how much she loved it, when we were children.
She's looking to some fun time, and I want to see this. I know that she's close to the Lange boy's and yes, Bob, she does think of you. WE the four of us had a great time together when we could, and she does miss the years we did not have with Bonnie. Bonnie would be the best gift to her and for the support she wants to move forward in her life. She is looking to the time when Bonnie and Rick come, also she is looking forward to joining her brother's and sister's in the goals she wishes with support that she wants to live her life and how.
We are looking at fixing the place in St. Helens for the special needs and a B&B, to connect to Portland and Washington. So, we have connection to Portland, also Lis has special friends in Longview as I also have those to.
I look forward to the new doors that will open and Jess is looking forward to working with Rick and Bonnie, in the creative area that we all love, motor bikes and all. We may be slowing in our old age, but it doesn't mean we stop living, just needs to make some adjustment's. We are going to create a place where we CAN be in our own place, have the assertive needs built in, if need be. We do have friends that are and can step in for the nursing needs in these locations and will have this created for the locations and also for those that may come in later.
All I wish to see is the love and all grow between Lueria and sis, also Bonnie feels the need to connect with Lueria as she is so special to her. I know the fun we had when Lueria, Lisi, Amy and Bonnie and they also included me, thank you, in those times we shared together. I love see this connection coming back. She so has a special love to Lueria, and Lisi and I love to see this.
I can be aunty, and sister, how great that is. Lueria is so wonderful with her family, and I know that at times she does feel guilty, but we understand her busy schedule, and she knows that if she needed my support, I'm there. Bonnie wants to be there for Lis, for the love she has for Lueria so that I can be just auntie, one way or another we'll get the family back, (Rick and Bonnie), laugh!!! I love you Lueria,.... we are so lucky to have you in this family. Your mom and I are so proud of you, all you know we are. Rick, you are family here in this group, don't forget it!!!! Ben, thanks for all the love I know you share wish Lis, as you understand this with Lis,and you. Bonnie is like that with Lis, being a twin is so special to. But also it is life long, she wants to see you, if you are willing when she can. She sends her love.
Love to all Aunty and sister
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Tue 8-26
Ben was better tonight I think. He rested most of the day. PT had him up this am before I got there. They must be up with the birds. I got there 8 am. He was in and out, confused in some of his speech but was awake longer and more quiet even tho he used his pain button quite a bit.
BJ called and talked to his father for a bit before Ben started dozing off. He had punched his button several times before the call.
A co-worker stopped by to see him for about 20 minutes before they had to change his bags as they kept leaking. It cheered Ben up to see him even tho it wasn't one of the ones that he really got on with. Then another co-worker called after the dressings were done and she was on the fire that broke out on Hilltop and Miracle Mile about noon. Burned about 143 acres in thru town to the Turtle Bay and Sun Dial Bridge. Grass and wildland mostly I guess. The news didn't say anything about structures other than they were threatened. It appearantly jumped Market street. We had some high winds here last night and today that pushed it.
Ben is still yellow. He is getting popsicles now with his crushed ice. Stil no juice yet or anything else. But at least the popsicles make him think that he is getting something to eat. It is strange but that is what the mind does. He is resting quietly for the night so I am going to take a shower and go to bed. I am still really tired. So GOOD NIGHT TO ALL.
Illa
BJ called and talked to his father for a bit before Ben started dozing off. He had punched his button several times before the call.
A co-worker stopped by to see him for about 20 minutes before they had to change his bags as they kept leaking. It cheered Ben up to see him even tho it wasn't one of the ones that he really got on with. Then another co-worker called after the dressings were done and she was on the fire that broke out on Hilltop and Miracle Mile about noon. Burned about 143 acres in thru town to the Turtle Bay and Sun Dial Bridge. Grass and wildland mostly I guess. The news didn't say anything about structures other than they were threatened. It appearantly jumped Market street. We had some high winds here last night and today that pushed it.
Ben is still yellow. He is getting popsicles now with his crushed ice. Stil no juice yet or anything else. But at least the popsicles make him think that he is getting something to eat. It is strange but that is what the mind does. He is resting quietly for the night so I am going to take a shower and go to bed. I am still really tired. So GOOD NIGHT TO ALL.
Illa
Ben
It was wonderful visiting the families in California. We were in Redding for two day's, to see Ben, the first time, he was in and out, saw Illa and visited, it was great to just be there with the two of them. You could see the yellow in his skin, then we needed to take the cat to the doctor, came back and he looked a lot better and was more aware. So, I knew that seeing him and then coming back, it would tell me more. We went to Jesse's sister and visited and stayed the night in Pleasant Hills, then over to Glenda's to visit and stayed the night. It was a great time. Did not see the city much but as able to see Glenda. Returned to Pleasant Hills to go to the 50th of Melva and Harold's. I did not attend as I needed to stay the the children. Jess had a great time, was a hoot, what the kids up off for their parents. Jess came back and told me some of it!!!! I could just picture it! We left Monday morning, to return to see Ben, and then home. Ben looked great, so much better then the trip down. His color was up and he asked for a kiss. It was great to give to him.
He's so special to me and his family. I love them all so. Yes, life can be hard, but going down there and seeing him, was so special. We are so grateful to be connected as family. We all see a little of each of us in others in our group. It is wonderful to know, as family members, we carry on our love for the members of our families. Each of us are there in spirit, and love. Illa and Ben, we all love you so much, thank you for letting us be there, in this time of life.
We are there is our life that the good and sad take place. What a joy it is to share the love we have for each other and the care we share.
We will be there in the good and bad, a strong bond of Faith, Love and Heart. We are there in
the time of need and the time of joy.
Love and peace we share the giving of spirit, the time we put our hands in the hands of God. Fear not the path God has for us. It is God's time we are united in love and Faith.
Releasing the way to His way, and our path is blessed with the family of love, that has lived and full life, an eventful life in the life time He has granted each of us.
WE love each other with the love of God, that rings in the group and family. We are there in love and Faith's of how we are connected in the blessing from God.
We are there, Ben and Illa
Love Sis
He's so special to me and his family. I love them all so. Yes, life can be hard, but going down there and seeing him, was so special. We are so grateful to be connected as family. We all see a little of each of us in others in our group. It is wonderful to know, as family members, we carry on our love for the members of our families. Each of us are there in spirit, and love. Illa and Ben, we all love you so much, thank you for letting us be there, in this time of life.
We are there is our life that the good and sad take place. What a joy it is to share the love we have for each other and the care we share.
We will be there in the good and bad, a strong bond of Faith, Love and Heart. We are there in
the time of need and the time of joy.
Love and peace we share the giving of spirit, the time we put our hands in the hands of God. Fear not the path God has for us. It is God's time we are united in love and Faith.
Releasing the way to His way, and our path is blessed with the family of love, that has lived and full life, an eventful life in the life time He has granted each of us.
WE love each other with the love of God, that rings in the group and family. We are there in love and Faith's of how we are connected in the blessing from God.
We are there, Ben and Illa
Love Sis
Monday, August 25, 2008
Ben Monday nite 8-85
Well, I make it. Had to take the long way around because of an accident on Hatchet Mt. A hay truck turned over and on fire.
Ben looks better tonight. I really expected to see something much worse considering how he looked when I left and how he sounded on the phone last night. He was alert for about 30 minutes and wanted some juice. As there was another person in the room, he tried a long way around to get me to go get something to eat and bring back some juice. I almost didn't understand what he was saying until I asked him right out if he wanted me to sneak him some juice. He said yeah, you can get some and forget it on the table. I did go eat and bring back some OJ and Cranberry juice. He tried about a tablespoon of each. He wanted more but I wouldn't give it to him. They are still suctioning him and I didn't want a whole lot to come up out the tube and give us away. But I don't see how they expect the stomach to absorb fluid from the stomach if they don't let him have any. All that is there is the gastric juices which is very acidic which eats the lining of the stomach when it get too strong. He seemed happier when he got to have the couple of sips. I would actually have given him a little more but the nurse came in to do his vitals. I had asked the nurse when I came in if he could have something other than ice chips and she said, no, the drs. haven't ordered anything yet. When she came in she saw the bottles in the window sill, so I made sure she saw them in my arms when I left.
He is resting better tonight. Still weak but looks more like his new normal self.
There is a storn brewing here in Redding. The wind is bad. Whipping and snapping stuff. Kind of reminds you of a tornado type wind the way it swirls and blows hard. Really rattles the windows here on the north side. It has really set off my sinuses. That is all I need.
Well, I am going to sleep now. So talk to you all later.
Thank you Dick for calling. It was good to talk to you. Thank you for everything. You are very much loved too by us. Hope things are going better for you. Are you still on your medication? I Hope it is working.
Love to everyone from both of us. Ben and Illa
Ben looks better tonight. I really expected to see something much worse considering how he looked when I left and how he sounded on the phone last night. He was alert for about 30 minutes and wanted some juice. As there was another person in the room, he tried a long way around to get me to go get something to eat and bring back some juice. I almost didn't understand what he was saying until I asked him right out if he wanted me to sneak him some juice. He said yeah, you can get some and forget it on the table. I did go eat and bring back some OJ and Cranberry juice. He tried about a tablespoon of each. He wanted more but I wouldn't give it to him. They are still suctioning him and I didn't want a whole lot to come up out the tube and give us away. But I don't see how they expect the stomach to absorb fluid from the stomach if they don't let him have any. All that is there is the gastric juices which is very acidic which eats the lining of the stomach when it get too strong. He seemed happier when he got to have the couple of sips. I would actually have given him a little more but the nurse came in to do his vitals. I had asked the nurse when I came in if he could have something other than ice chips and she said, no, the drs. haven't ordered anything yet. When she came in she saw the bottles in the window sill, so I made sure she saw them in my arms when I left.
He is resting better tonight. Still weak but looks more like his new normal self.
There is a storn brewing here in Redding. The wind is bad. Whipping and snapping stuff. Kind of reminds you of a tornado type wind the way it swirls and blows hard. Really rattles the windows here on the north side. It has really set off my sinuses. That is all I need.
Well, I am going to sleep now. So talk to you all later.
Thank you Dick for calling. It was good to talk to you. Thank you for everything. You are very much loved too by us. Hope things are going better for you. Are you still on your medication? I Hope it is working.
Love to everyone from both of us. Ben and Illa
Living Life while you have the life to live..no regrets!
I often wonder why others have to suffer so or at times life is so unfair; but, then it comes to me that it could be so others can 'get it' while they have the chance to. You know I specialize in Acute & Hospice Care. Most of my residents lives seem to be meaningless, but they aren't. I remind them daily that even if they seem to feel all they are doing is getting through one day at a time waiting for something to happen .. a visit, a call or just for life to end, their lives are lived, every moment; for a reason. As for my clients, their lives and suffering has made me a better person. Each experience I go thru with them, adds to my life.
But life and suffering is a lesson for all of us. We need to take a look at the lives we live and make sure we live while we can; the right way! ... So when it comes our time to suffer, wait to die or be dependant on others for our care; we don't regret the life we lived.
I hope we all take a careful look at the meaning of life and death as we go through the illnesses and crisis of others. Some of us do, I know. Pain touches every one's life. But I mean really look. Don't see it and shrug. If we do, the life, death and suffering of others might be meaningless. I urge all of us to take a second look. Do we say, 'hey get better we need you' ? Do we hide behind our own fears?
I spent quite a bit of time with Ben over the last couple days. We had planned to go on a road trip anyway for my BD weekend. We just decided to make our road trip to Redding.
He was in and out of consciousness most the time I was there Sat. He did say something to me that made me really pay attention to and wonder what he's going through. He reached over and said ... please don't be upset if I don't make it. It bothered me that he was trying to comfort me while he was the one facing his destiny. Death is a destiny for all of us. He's just had the time to prepare. But why would he feel the need to say .. don't be upset .. ? I feel we needed to discuss that, but he was really too out of it on Sat.
I came back in the early hours on Sun. He was much more alert. He wanted a shower and a walk. But they were very busy. He was finally able to get cleaned up; a bed bath. We did get a chance to talk some.
I left a little journal for all his loved ones to journal, this journey we are taking with him; in. This is a journey .. LIFE & DEATH !
What I feel is his deep sadness about leaving those he loves to an uncertain future and from past regrets. It's got to be a scary thing, to know you are leaving an unfinished life. I feel it is our duty, as loved ones, as a support system for him as well as for Illa and the kids; that we help him understand life is over when it is time. I feel that time is when one feels they have done all they can and can turn their very life over to God.
There is no promise of forever or even of any time. My concept of life and death might be different then others. But I am real good at the ' dying part of life '. So I think my theory works.
It is so important for loved ones to let go. We must let Ben know we have no regrets, he can do no more to make our lives better or ok. He has lived a good life. There's always regrets, but there comes a time we can do nothing about something we should have done. Our life is just what it was meant to be and even with the mistakes, it is ok. We also make mistakes for reasons we may not know. *Thank God for some mistakes we feel we made, because only God can bring something right out of what some may think is wrong. And it's all up to God anyway, not what others think is right or wrong.*
One big thing I understand is Ben's desire to die at home. No one wants to die at a place filled with strangers. Ones that don't even have the time to empty the garbage, clean the toilets or give a bath. So I hope for him, he is able to get to the place he can go home and die with his family around him. But again; if this is God's will and then God's will be done.
But regardless of where it will happen, I feel family members ( us, Illa has been dealing in that reality for some time ) need to deal in the reality that he is dying. My hope is I am able to let him know, I cherish the memories of my life with him. I will always think fondly on the times we shared and I have no regrets.
He has regrets. Most of us do. ( I do not. I have adopted a theory of living a life having no regrets, for years. ) But at this time he needs to be encouraged to find an understanding that his life was lived well. His life was lived as it was destined to be and he no longer needs to have regrets, because for one thing, regretting can do no good, it will only hurt him and keep him for being able to let go of this life; for a better one. He is afraid. I grieve for his fears. But with God at his side, his fear will go and he will then be able to relax and find the peace and ability to let go. Everyone finds that in their own way. I am only suggesting that we as his family helps him let go by helping him find the closures he needs that will enable him to find that peace.
God will take him when God knows he is ready to go. I am sure of this. In the meantime his life gives all our lives meaning. Please don't let his suffering be in vain. It's time for him to find his peace and not feel as if there's anymore left for him to do.
I know everyone has their own thoughts on life and death .. these are just mine. I love my brother and would like to see his life go on; but I want him to go in peace without fear and regrets. Our time with him needs to be a time of saying well done brother, love you and if I never see you again in this life .. I'll meet you in heaven. Please don't ask him to stay around for our agenda when it might be time for him to just let go. If he does get better and lives for years .. out of stubborness ... it is only because God knows he has unfinsished business; let's help him.
But life and suffering is a lesson for all of us. We need to take a look at the lives we live and make sure we live while we can; the right way! ... So when it comes our time to suffer, wait to die or be dependant on others for our care; we don't regret the life we lived.
I hope we all take a careful look at the meaning of life and death as we go through the illnesses and crisis of others. Some of us do, I know. Pain touches every one's life. But I mean really look. Don't see it and shrug. If we do, the life, death and suffering of others might be meaningless. I urge all of us to take a second look. Do we say, 'hey get better we need you' ? Do we hide behind our own fears?
I spent quite a bit of time with Ben over the last couple days. We had planned to go on a road trip anyway for my BD weekend. We just decided to make our road trip to Redding.
He was in and out of consciousness most the time I was there Sat. He did say something to me that made me really pay attention to and wonder what he's going through. He reached over and said ... please don't be upset if I don't make it. It bothered me that he was trying to comfort me while he was the one facing his destiny. Death is a destiny for all of us. He's just had the time to prepare. But why would he feel the need to say .. don't be upset .. ? I feel we needed to discuss that, but he was really too out of it on Sat.
I came back in the early hours on Sun. He was much more alert. He wanted a shower and a walk. But they were very busy. He was finally able to get cleaned up; a bed bath. We did get a chance to talk some.
I left a little journal for all his loved ones to journal, this journey we are taking with him; in. This is a journey .. LIFE & DEATH !
What I feel is his deep sadness about leaving those he loves to an uncertain future and from past regrets. It's got to be a scary thing, to know you are leaving an unfinished life. I feel it is our duty, as loved ones, as a support system for him as well as for Illa and the kids; that we help him understand life is over when it is time. I feel that time is when one feels they have done all they can and can turn their very life over to God.
There is no promise of forever or even of any time. My concept of life and death might be different then others. But I am real good at the ' dying part of life '. So I think my theory works.
It is so important for loved ones to let go. We must let Ben know we have no regrets, he can do no more to make our lives better or ok. He has lived a good life. There's always regrets, but there comes a time we can do nothing about something we should have done. Our life is just what it was meant to be and even with the mistakes, it is ok. We also make mistakes for reasons we may not know. *Thank God for some mistakes we feel we made, because only God can bring something right out of what some may think is wrong. And it's all up to God anyway, not what others think is right or wrong.*
One big thing I understand is Ben's desire to die at home. No one wants to die at a place filled with strangers. Ones that don't even have the time to empty the garbage, clean the toilets or give a bath. So I hope for him, he is able to get to the place he can go home and die with his family around him. But again; if this is God's will and then God's will be done.
But regardless of where it will happen, I feel family members ( us, Illa has been dealing in that reality for some time ) need to deal in the reality that he is dying. My hope is I am able to let him know, I cherish the memories of my life with him. I will always think fondly on the times we shared and I have no regrets.
He has regrets. Most of us do. ( I do not. I have adopted a theory of living a life having no regrets, for years. ) But at this time he needs to be encouraged to find an understanding that his life was lived well. His life was lived as it was destined to be and he no longer needs to have regrets, because for one thing, regretting can do no good, it will only hurt him and keep him for being able to let go of this life; for a better one. He is afraid. I grieve for his fears. But with God at his side, his fear will go and he will then be able to relax and find the peace and ability to let go. Everyone finds that in their own way. I am only suggesting that we as his family helps him let go by helping him find the closures he needs that will enable him to find that peace.
God will take him when God knows he is ready to go. I am sure of this. In the meantime his life gives all our lives meaning. Please don't let his suffering be in vain. It's time for him to find his peace and not feel as if there's anymore left for him to do.
I know everyone has their own thoughts on life and death .. these are just mine. I love my brother and would like to see his life go on; but I want him to go in peace without fear and regrets. Our time with him needs to be a time of saying well done brother, love you and if I never see you again in this life .. I'll meet you in heaven. Please don't ask him to stay around for our agenda when it might be time for him to just let go. If he does get better and lives for years .. out of stubborness ... it is only because God knows he has unfinsished business; let's help him.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Time with Ben
Just wanted to let you all know that we made it up to Redding. Teisha came up with me and you should have seen Ben's face brighten up when he saw her! Like Illa said he seems very weak and so small in that great big bed.
Dick was feeling like it was time to get something to eat, his blood sugar had dropped and I could tell that he needed to get something to eat pretty quick. After we came back from dinner we found that they had taken Ben to "Nuclear." They said the Dr. had been in and decided to have a few tests run. He was gone for about an hour and a half and then they changed all his bandages and cleaned him up for another hour and a half. I waited until about 7:30 and sat with him for a half an hour but he was pretty tired. I just wanted to sit there with him and share the quiet time. As Illa said, he did walk around a little, but the nurse said not as far as he went the other day.
It was great to Suzy and Darrell as we were going in to the hospital. It was so sweet of her to get a journal for everyone who visits. She is so thoughtful and shared sweet thoughts of their times together. It was a pleasure to add my two cents worth and I hope Suzy's thoughtfulness will be a blessing to Ben, Illa and the kids. These couple of weeks I have had so many memories of Ben going through my mind. I remember when I was a kid and I would see Ben at church, running around being a kid and I would be thinking, "there is my brother and we don't live together. He is my brother and we live in different places." As a kid I remember thinking there was something very wrong with that. I feel blessed that the Lord left Ben in Redding with the Rosses so I could have someone to feel connected to! What is even better is that I know that Ben and I will be able to live together again in the same town where there will be no more pain and suffering.
Illa, thank you so much for the nice room. I will make sure the key is back where we got it from and we are leaving some money by the microwave. I hope work went well for you and I hope you will take care of yourself. I agree with Bonnie, the Jule Andrews song was great!
Well, guys, its been a good weekend seeing a lot of family. Did I mention that we got to see Lil and Jess? Their "children" were well disciplined and were fun to have around. We have all of you in our prayers. Love, Glenda
Dick was feeling like it was time to get something to eat, his blood sugar had dropped and I could tell that he needed to get something to eat pretty quick. After we came back from dinner we found that they had taken Ben to "Nuclear." They said the Dr. had been in and decided to have a few tests run. He was gone for about an hour and a half and then they changed all his bandages and cleaned him up for another hour and a half. I waited until about 7:30 and sat with him for a half an hour but he was pretty tired. I just wanted to sit there with him and share the quiet time. As Illa said, he did walk around a little, but the nurse said not as far as he went the other day.
It was great to Suzy and Darrell as we were going in to the hospital. It was so sweet of her to get a journal for everyone who visits. She is so thoughtful and shared sweet thoughts of their times together. It was a pleasure to add my two cents worth and I hope Suzy's thoughtfulness will be a blessing to Ben, Illa and the kids. These couple of weeks I have had so many memories of Ben going through my mind. I remember when I was a kid and I would see Ben at church, running around being a kid and I would be thinking, "there is my brother and we don't live together. He is my brother and we live in different places." As a kid I remember thinking there was something very wrong with that. I feel blessed that the Lord left Ben in Redding with the Rosses so I could have someone to feel connected to! What is even better is that I know that Ben and I will be able to live together again in the same town where there will be no more pain and suffering.
Illa, thank you so much for the nice room. I will make sure the key is back where we got it from and we are leaving some money by the microwave. I hope work went well for you and I hope you will take care of yourself. I agree with Bonnie, the Jule Andrews song was great!
Well, guys, its been a good weekend seeing a lot of family. Did I mention that we got to see Lil and Jess? Their "children" were well disciplined and were fun to have around. We have all of you in our prayers. Love, Glenda
Hi Ya All
OK Ben, enough of this trying to get all the attention. Get yourself better quick so I can pick on you without feeling guilty. I'm not liking not being able to come see you. I talked to our company about a load out that way but they can't promise anything. You probably would be home by the time I got by that way anyway. This is making Rick and I want to get moved out there ASAP!!!!! And you know me, I'm putting my vote in for the coast so you better be there... I will bring the apple fritters.
Oh ya, hi everyone else, miss ya love ya. I have my computor in the truck so you can write any time.
Illa, loved the thing you sent with Julie Andews song. So close to the truth
Oh ya, hi everyone else, miss ya love ya. I have my computor in the truck so you can write any time.
Illa, loved the thing you sent with Julie Andews song. So close to the truth
family
I've been asked to write a book and trying to follow my roots of my life. Also the locations of births, with family. If any of you can remember locations, Peter and Glenda, it would be most helpful to this need. Also, I would love to have family members add, what they would wish, without hurting anyone, on events, I would like to put in the funny things of life, plus I will also be putting some of the funny things I did while hospitalized, so boring at times, so I did do stuff to cheer others and make people laugh. Love to all Lili
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Glenda and the donuts
Back in Pleasant Hills, to go to Jess's sisters 50th, Sunday. Didn't see much of Glenda as she had to work to cover 2 people at work on vacation. Also she needed to study, so we left early, so she could do so. Was great to see her, we told her we would be coming back to see her. Also I am trying to locate where we were born, did get the location and address of where we lived with Glenda and Ben, also the church where we have our records. Now it will be to locate the hospital, also Glenda said that Lis and I were at two hospitals, because of our health issues, I'll try dealing with that next time I come down. Glenda's place was neat to see, and it was wonderful to see her the short time we did. I look forward to seeing Ben, Monday. Also how about I add the cinnamon rolls, as I had a bit about Hillary and Obdon, with Lueria's father-in-law. I won on Obdon. So, what do you think, ...... Oh, by the way the roads are a trip down here. A lot of work being done. Love to all Lili and Jess
I lost the bet.
Click on the title
Peter, you won't need to share because I'm going to buy Ben and Illa a dozen donuts too when things get back to normal. So, Ben, get your strength back and get ready for some donuts...or eclairs. Just feel better.
Love, Jim
Peter, you won't need to share because I'm going to buy Ben and Illa a dozen donuts too when things get back to normal. So, Ben, get your strength back and get ready for some donuts...or eclairs. Just feel better.
Love, Jim
Friday, August 22, 2008
Friday 8-22
I did get to eat. I got to talk to the Kitchen person that came around and she will make sure that I get a tray every time the food comes around. I also let her know that I would be gone for several days and would be back by Mon. She said to just call them if I have to come back sooner to make sure I got something. I thought that was pretty good of them.
Ben was up and moving again today. I had to prod the nurse again to get him up. I can't catch him if he falls even tho he has lost a lot of weight. He was awake longer today. I got to see both Dr.s today before noon even. They are going to remove one more tube and hopefully the NG tube if he can tolerate it being clamped. I can understand that they don't want to go thru all that again to put it down.
If they have a room to move him today or tomorrow then he will move to surgical wing. It just depends on how it all goes. Granted he will get more quiet sleep there but I don't think he will be checked as often. I also don't think they will walk him as often so everyone that goes to see him, see if he can be put in a chair for you. That way he will at least get out of bed for a little while. His little old bones look so pitiful and painful.
Remember all, the key to the room is hanging on his IV pole. Please make sure you put it back there when done with the room so I can get it when I get back. Sorry Dick but I had to lie to them and tell them that you would be in the room Sat. night. For some stupid reason they feel someone has to be there every 24 hours even tho the room is paid for. I had to let them know that Glenda would be there Sunday night. I can understand that if there was an emergency they need to know if someone would be in the room to get them out and who was there. I suppose they have a reason for their policies. When I left last week and turned in the key, the room wasn't cleaned until I came back on monday. There was no one in there on Sunday.
Anyway, the plan is when Ben gets to Surgical wing he is to be there of at least 5 more days. The surgical Dr. wants to make sure that there is no more drainage from the abdomen that doesn't go into the colostomy bags, and he wants to make sure the stomas are healing nicely. He mentioned something again about the rehab facility and that has to do with how well he gains strength and weight when they remove the other drains. He says that he will make that determination after he sees how well Ben progresses. Ben was resting quietly when I left about 12:30. Will call later to see if he had been moved and how he is doing. Love, Light and Prayers to all and let me know what you think after you get to visit him.
I talked to Ben at 9 pm abd he is doing ok. He has been moved to Surgical East Room 205. They did not try to walk him tonight just like I thought they would. Nurse thought she would let him sleep. He is happy that he is in a room where the lights are off at night. He can have the door closed so he doesn't have to listen to all the noise in the hall either. So maybe that is a good thing. He didn't say if they took out anymore tubes and I forgot to ask the Nurse. So you all have a good night and I am going to bed. Talk to you tomorrow after I talk to him in the afternoon. Illa
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Ben and our love
To all, it was great to see Ben, and he did look better then what I expected. He's one to give it his all. He did rest while we were there, it was just great to see him, and be with him. You can see his spirit, and he needs to know, that it does not matter, it's going on, we are all there for him. It's great to see Illa and also support her at this time, thanks Ben, for allowing us to come and be with you and Illa, it means so much to us. Also Illa, thanks for letting us, do what each of us can for you and your family. I know that it's no fun, and we'd all like that this not be happening for you and Ben. But life is what isn't all about, and that it's times like this we are connected, as it could be anyone of us. Ben hang in there, we love you. How special it is for us to be family, and Lis and I do love you, no way would be not be there for you. Jess, knows that it's hard to be where you are, and yes, it's great to see you sleep, and just let us be there for Illa and you. You did look better then the first time we saw you, keep doing what your doing and get the rest. We know that family are coming and I did call Bonnie, also Lueria, and gave her the update. You need your rest, but also just checking in with you means so much to each of us. It was just great letting us, come see you. What a family of fighters and all I wish and Jess, is to see you have things your way. Keep the Faith,..... Called Lis and told her you looked better then what I expected. We are there for you and your family..... a sister and brother-in-law that loves you. Jess and Lili
Thursday night 8-21
Lili and Jess came to see Ben today. They got to visit for quite a bit. He got up twice today and walked twice as far as yesterday, sat in the chair twice but not for as long as he was tired out from the walks. They pulled one IV out that ran the heart monitor and just had him connected to the other monitor and BP Cuff. Still has all the other drains and IV's. They could not give him his usual pain meds as his kidneys weren't functioning as well as they would have liked so he only had the push button thing. He is still having trouble breathing and is still hot. He was looking a little better tonight when the Dr. came in. He is not so yellow as he was last night. He is still in and out and loosing a lot of weight. He is still really struggling and so will be in ICU for several more days. He will be there until they feel safe enough to pull more of the tubes and take him off the monitor. They were going to pull the NG tube if they weren't pulling up a lot of stuff but they still are so it stays much to Ben's dismay. He is resting quietly right now.
I talked to Ben's nurses and told them that I would be leaving the key to the Room on his IV pole for any of you that needs it. They said that they would watch for you guys and that if by chance he is moved to the floor before I get back, they would make sure the key goes with him. I only get one key to the room so want to make sure it is kept track of. I leave about 1 pm or so tomorrow and will be back monday about 6 pm. Maybe a little earlier. I will make the bed so that it is nice and neat.
Glenda, whe you come up the hill to the hospital turn right in to the hospitality house. It is just as you come around the corner. It is easy walking distance to the hospital.
Illa
I talked to Ben's nurses and told them that I would be leaving the key to the Room on his IV pole for any of you that needs it. They said that they would watch for you guys and that if by chance he is moved to the floor before I get back, they would make sure the key goes with him. I only get one key to the room so want to make sure it is kept track of. I leave about 1 pm or so tomorrow and will be back monday about 6 pm. Maybe a little earlier. I will make the bed so that it is nice and neat.
Glenda, whe you come up the hill to the hospital turn right in to the hospitality house. It is just as you come around the corner. It is easy walking distance to the hospital.
Illa
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Redding budget Inn
Jess and I arrived here in Redding, went to the hospital to locate it first. We came into Redding about 10:30PM. We are staying in room 105, 530-243-4231. We will go up to the hospital in the morning to see Ben, if he is asleep we will let him sleep.... Love Jess and Lili, also we are going to look up a vet for our kitty during the day to get some med's. He's the last of 5, hand feed and such. You all know how we are about our pet's.
Wed. nite
Ben is a little better tonight. He has been up walking twice for about 100 feet. He still comes and goes but more aware of his surroundings. He still keeps trying to pour water out of his breathing thingy. He still is hot and connected to lots of tubes and wires. He is a little jaundiced still but his liver isn't functions too well yet from the stress. He can't leave ICU until some of the tubes are gone and he as more aware so that means several more days. He can have visitors but for short times. He is in Room 262. There is a phone there but it is away from the bed and most of the people are pretty sick and can't answer it.
There is some talk that he might have to go to a rehab facility as he has so much medical stuff going on that has to be watched. But right now that is just talk. Have to get him thru this patch and get the majority of drains, tubes, and hoses out. They are still saying 10+ days before taking out the tubes and drains. He is so weak and now getting fluid in his lungs that they really want to watch him. He is getting fiesty when a wake. He shook his fist at the male nurse that had to re-insert his NG tube as he gave him a bloody nose. Ben's nose has been broken so flat that they have trouble putting in those tubes but they really needed a big one. The guy really tried to be as gentle as possible but I know it had to hurt. But the end result was worth it as they got a lot of that toxic stuff out of his stomach that they couldn't get before. Which really did help Ben out. I don't think Ben would have hit him but he told the nurse that he thought it was only fair that he give him one.
So I think that I will go home Friday afternoon. I have to check on the animals to make sure they are being taken care of and I really need to work now while he is there as I will probably miss some days when he gets out. Staying in the Hospitality house is at least cheaper than a hotel but it still takes money. At least I am able to get fed at the hospital. I get up to 2 meals a day so that really helps. So I will call my boss and let her know tomorrow that I will cover my shifts on Sat., Sun, and Mon. I will be back down Mon. nite. I hate driving back and forth but it has to be done. Also while I am there I have to get someone else to take care of the animals as the people who are taking care of them now will be leaving on Tue. and will be out of state for a month.
Sorry that I will miss some of you that come later but I really hope you understand. Ben will appreaciate the company tho. Ben knows that several of you are coming so he is prepared to see you. I tell him who all has called and left messages and that you all send your love. He really appreaciates it. He says to tell you all that he loves you too.
Glenda, I did see until now that you would make it sunday. I don't know when Lili and Jess are coming but the phone call said that they were headed out the door. What I can do is pay for the room so that you all can stay there. It is $20 dollars a night but if someone is staying in it then it is worth it. I have to turn off the phone in ICU and forget to turn it back on when I leave for a cigarette. The only time it is really turned on during the day is between 6-8 pm and during the night until I go to the hosp. about 9 am. I get kicked out during shift change but I understand. So let me know if you want me to do that then there is a place for you to stay. Illa
Ben and Illa
There is some talk that he might have to go to a rehab facility as he has so much medical stuff going on that has to be watched. But right now that is just talk. Have to get him thru this patch and get the majority of drains, tubes, and hoses out. They are still saying 10+ days before taking out the tubes and drains. He is so weak and now getting fluid in his lungs that they really want to watch him. He is getting fiesty when a wake. He shook his fist at the male nurse that had to re-insert his NG tube as he gave him a bloody nose. Ben's nose has been broken so flat that they have trouble putting in those tubes but they really needed a big one. The guy really tried to be as gentle as possible but I know it had to hurt. But the end result was worth it as they got a lot of that toxic stuff out of his stomach that they couldn't get before. Which really did help Ben out. I don't think Ben would have hit him but he told the nurse that he thought it was only fair that he give him one.
So I think that I will go home Friday afternoon. I have to check on the animals to make sure they are being taken care of and I really need to work now while he is there as I will probably miss some days when he gets out. Staying in the Hospitality house is at least cheaper than a hotel but it still takes money. At least I am able to get fed at the hospital. I get up to 2 meals a day so that really helps. So I will call my boss and let her know tomorrow that I will cover my shifts on Sat., Sun, and Mon. I will be back down Mon. nite. I hate driving back and forth but it has to be done. Also while I am there I have to get someone else to take care of the animals as the people who are taking care of them now will be leaving on Tue. and will be out of state for a month.
Sorry that I will miss some of you that come later but I really hope you understand. Ben will appreaciate the company tho. Ben knows that several of you are coming so he is prepared to see you. I tell him who all has called and left messages and that you all send your love. He really appreaciates it. He says to tell you all that he loves you too.
Glenda, I did see until now that you would make it sunday. I don't know when Lili and Jess are coming but the phone call said that they were headed out the door. What I can do is pay for the room so that you all can stay there. It is $20 dollars a night but if someone is staying in it then it is worth it. I have to turn off the phone in ICU and forget to turn it back on when I leave for a cigarette. The only time it is really turned on during the day is between 6-8 pm and during the night until I go to the hosp. about 9 am. I get kicked out during shift change but I understand. So let me know if you want me to do that then there is a place for you to stay. Illa
Ben and Illa
Another phone: 530.225.6000Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Update Ben Tue. nite
Ben had a good night last night. They got him up in a chair for 2 hours today. He is still in and out as expected. His plain level has really dropped. He has an infection raging which is also expected. They put in 2 colostomy's and 6 other drain bags, 4 in the abdomen, one to the bladder and one to the lower colon.
The Dr. is still pretty confident that they will be able to reconnect him together. They will not do that for 3 months when they will also take out the tumor in the lower colon. They want to get everything stable before doing another big intrusive surgery.
They are hoping to move him out to the floor from ICU tommorrow, depends on how he responds tonight and tomorrow. As he is tonight I would not be surprised to see him there still another day. He is pretty out of it, not really from pain but from the surgery itself. He has a fever tonight but his vitals are stable. He is having a little trouble breathing but his oxygen level remains good. So we are still at the wait and see stage.
Lueria call about 5:30 to see how he was. We got to talk for a little. I think I kept falling asleep on her. I apologize. Just about had to pry me off the floor. I fell asleep and wanted to wake up in time to go to dinner but missed it. I got there just a minute or two after they closed the gate and no change for the machines. I could feel my blood sugar drop and was hoping I could make it to the car to sit down before the bp followed. Made it to a chair and sat for about 15 min. then was able to go to a restaurant and eat. This heat doesn't help a bit.
Well, I am going to go back to sleep. I think I am too wore out. Even too tired to crawl into the shower. I'll procrastinate and do it in the morning. You all have a good night. Ben is in good hands and he has some really good nurses. Ben and Illa
The Dr. is still pretty confident that they will be able to reconnect him together. They will not do that for 3 months when they will also take out the tumor in the lower colon. They want to get everything stable before doing another big intrusive surgery.
They are hoping to move him out to the floor from ICU tommorrow, depends on how he responds tonight and tomorrow. As he is tonight I would not be surprised to see him there still another day. He is pretty out of it, not really from pain but from the surgery itself. He has a fever tonight but his vitals are stable. He is having a little trouble breathing but his oxygen level remains good. So we are still at the wait and see stage.
Lueria call about 5:30 to see how he was. We got to talk for a little. I think I kept falling asleep on her. I apologize. Just about had to pry me off the floor. I fell asleep and wanted to wake up in time to go to dinner but missed it. I got there just a minute or two after they closed the gate and no change for the machines. I could feel my blood sugar drop and was hoping I could make it to the car to sit down before the bp followed. Made it to a chair and sat for about 15 min. then was able to go to a restaurant and eat. This heat doesn't help a bit.
Well, I am going to go back to sleep. I think I am too wore out. Even too tired to crawl into the shower. I'll procrastinate and do it in the morning. You all have a good night. Ben is in good hands and he has some really good nurses. Ben and Illa
Things I forgot
Ben is in ICU room 262 for the next 2 days at least. Then after that, the nurse says he will be there for at least 5 more days probably down on the Oncology ward where he was. So, now it is in God's hands and the people that take care of him. I couldn't believe the difference in his size. He looks half of what he was. I'll have to rib him and tell him he should know now how it feels to carry a baby. He was that big and ungainly.
Also talked to Lili after Ben went into surgery on my way to get the kids from the mall. They were meeting there at Walmart as they did not know how to find the hospital. They are going to stop by to see Ben either on the way down or going back. I guess it all depends. I am so glad that everyone has made it to see him. I know that Ben doesn't like people to see him when he is sick ( this macho thing again with men, heaven forbid that they should be seen as weak or in that condition) but I could tell from the few people that have stopped to see him that he was actually glad to see them even tho he was out of it pretty much today. Illa
Also talked to Lili after Ben went into surgery on my way to get the kids from the mall. They were meeting there at Walmart as they did not know how to find the hospital. They are going to stop by to see Ben either on the way down or going back. I guess it all depends. I am so glad that everyone has made it to see him. I know that Ben doesn't like people to see him when he is sick ( this macho thing again with men, heaven forbid that they should be seen as weak or in that condition) but I could tell from the few people that have stopped to see him that he was actually glad to see them even tho he was out of it pretty much today. Illa
Newest Update Tue. 1 am
They took Ben to surgery at 5:15 pm 8-18. They had planned to take him about 9 pm then got a slot earlier at 7. At about 5 pm Ben started really sweating and hurting and i got the nurse and she took his temp and bp and the temp spiked, the bp went really low and his hert rate that they had been trying like crazy to keep up for surgery jumped to 120 bpm. Appearantly the bowel ruptured. They rushed him in. They put in the colostomy which is still supposed to be only temporary at this time. They flushed all the gangrenous material out of his abdomen and took a bunch of the colon that was also gangrenous. I don't know how long it takes gangrene to set in but I would suppose that there had been a small leak for several days. He was in surgery about 4 hours and recovery after. He was groggy when the kids and I got to see him afterward but he looked a lot better than when he went in.
Both Teresa and BJ and all their clan were able to make it down. Not in time before Ben went into surgery but they were there when he came out. He recognized them. Teresa and I both noticed a strange anomolie when he opened his eyes. Usually they are green/brown. They looked blue to us. Could have been the light playing tricks but we thought it was strange. He is still in a lot of pain.
The Dr. said that the next 48 hours will be critical as there was so much bad material in there. Took 11 pints of fluid to flush out and he is afraid that he might not have gotten it all.
The plan is to try to re-connect his bowels in about 2 weeks. It might even be as long as 3 months and he does think that the tumor is in the lower colon which they did not take out yet. If that is where it is at then Ben will most likely have a full permanant colostomy. He says the liver looks clear and that is one of the places that City of Hope said the cancer had spread to. So maybe all that chemo that Ben took at least worked on that.
Anyway, I am back at the room and the kids are on their way back home. Will give another update in the afternoon when I see how he is doing now. Love and Light to all Ben and Illa
Both Teresa and BJ and all their clan were able to make it down. Not in time before Ben went into surgery but they were there when he came out. He recognized them. Teresa and I both noticed a strange anomolie when he opened his eyes. Usually they are green/brown. They looked blue to us. Could have been the light playing tricks but we thought it was strange. He is still in a lot of pain.
The Dr. said that the next 48 hours will be critical as there was so much bad material in there. Took 11 pints of fluid to flush out and he is afraid that he might not have gotten it all.
The plan is to try to re-connect his bowels in about 2 weeks. It might even be as long as 3 months and he does think that the tumor is in the lower colon which they did not take out yet. If that is where it is at then Ben will most likely have a full permanant colostomy. He says the liver looks clear and that is one of the places that City of Hope said the cancer had spread to. So maybe all that chemo that Ben took at least worked on that.
Anyway, I am back at the room and the kids are on their way back home. Will give another update in the afternoon when I see how he is doing now. Love and Light to all Ben and Illa
Monday, August 18, 2008
Ben update, Monday, August 18, 2008
Just talked to Illa. The doctor felt it necessary that Ben have surgery tonight, probably after 7:00. The plan is to perform a ‘simple’ colonoscopy, on the outside with a permanent one at a later date. The bag will be attached to the small intestine. The colon and abdomen are under pressure so the purpose of this is to let the swelling go down. At this time they will remove the tumor that is part of the problem.
He is pretty doped up and in quite a bit of pain, although Illa indicated that he was up walking this morning long enough to go to the bathroom.
He received 8 bags of potassium yesterday and probably will receive the same amount today. The purpose is to get his heart rate up. His blood pressure was measured at 188/110 this morning.
Do keep Ben, Illa, Teresa, and BJ in your prayers, especially just after 7:00.
Jim
He is pretty doped up and in quite a bit of pain, although Illa indicated that he was up walking this morning long enough to go to the bathroom.
He received 8 bags of potassium yesterday and probably will receive the same amount today. The purpose is to get his heart rate up. His blood pressure was measured at 188/110 this morning.
Do keep Ben, Illa, Teresa, and BJ in your prayers, especially just after 7:00.
Jim
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Sunday nite 8-17
Just left Ben. 9 pm. He is up and moving around. They put in a pic line in his left arm and trying to give him some nourishment thru the iv. He still can't eat but is slowly going now. I though he said that they were giving him stuff to make him go more to clean him out. But I guess not. I came down tonite as when I talked to him at 11 am, the dr. was talking to him about surgery. This is the cover dr. for dr. Freeman. He did not read Ben's file so did not know that the cancer has spread. He wants to do surgery on the tumor that is growing and attaching to the old scar and the stuff around it. Enough stuff has moved so that they can see the tumor in the abdomen. He is still swollen and hard even with all the suctioning and going. He is still very much in pain so they are now giving him the thingy that he can push the button when he needs it. Supposedly they are to hook it up tonight. He is really starting to look worn out.
I still don't understand much about the surgery that Ben says the Dr. was talking about. Dr. Freeman and this other Dr. are supposed to come in tomorrow. They never give you a good fairly precise time like between 1 and 5 or some such. Just sometime tomorrow. I understood that Ben was supposed to go to surgery tomorrow but if they are not pushing internal cleansing then it won't be tomorrow as the intestines have to be pretty much squeaky clean. Supposedly the Dr. wants to take out some more of the colon along with the tumor. Said it would only be about 3-4 days before he could go home. Then have to have bed rest and all the usual stuff. So will have to wait and see just what is up. Ben doesn't want the surgery if it can't fix him. He is thinking, why have it if it won't prolong a good life and he has to go thru all that crap again. My fear is they will open him up then close up and send him home without doing anything and say , well that's it- nothing more can be done and leave him in all that pain and struggle. And then the worst of it, expect to be paid for that pain and suffering. Sorry, I am venting. You can't see the steam but it is there.
He had a really good day nurse yesterday. Today, they came in and wiped out everything she had on the board that regarded his pain meds and the times that he could have them and when they were due. She had it all written out so that all the next shifts would have it and not have to look everything up. It peeved him quite a bit. When he starts getting short tempered,you can tell he is hurting and getting fed up with everything. I told the nurse tonight before I left as he was getting short with them again, that when he gets that way, he is at the end of the pain that he can take. So she gave him his medication about 1/2 hour early.
So that is what i have for now. Also if you want to talk to him you will have to call the hospital. Their number is 1-503-225-6000 and ask for Rm 104 B. Appearantly the cell phone does not work well where he is in the hospital. It seems to be hit and miss. Must be because of all the electronics and stuff there, the interference. So I am going to go to bed for now and hope to get some rest.
I can get internet herein the hospitality house and not have to pay for it. So will update as I can. Love to all. Ben and Illa
I still don't understand much about the surgery that Ben says the Dr. was talking about. Dr. Freeman and this other Dr. are supposed to come in tomorrow. They never give you a good fairly precise time like between 1 and 5 or some such. Just sometime tomorrow. I understood that Ben was supposed to go to surgery tomorrow but if they are not pushing internal cleansing then it won't be tomorrow as the intestines have to be pretty much squeaky clean. Supposedly the Dr. wants to take out some more of the colon along with the tumor. Said it would only be about 3-4 days before he could go home. Then have to have bed rest and all the usual stuff. So will have to wait and see just what is up. Ben doesn't want the surgery if it can't fix him. He is thinking, why have it if it won't prolong a good life and he has to go thru all that crap again. My fear is they will open him up then close up and send him home without doing anything and say , well that's it- nothing more can be done and leave him in all that pain and struggle. And then the worst of it, expect to be paid for that pain and suffering. Sorry, I am venting. You can't see the steam but it is there.
He had a really good day nurse yesterday. Today, they came in and wiped out everything she had on the board that regarded his pain meds and the times that he could have them and when they were due. She had it all written out so that all the next shifts would have it and not have to look everything up. It peeved him quite a bit. When he starts getting short tempered,you can tell he is hurting and getting fed up with everything. I told the nurse tonight before I left as he was getting short with them again, that when he gets that way, he is at the end of the pain that he can take. So she gave him his medication about 1/2 hour early.
So that is what i have for now. Also if you want to talk to him you will have to call the hospital. Their number is 1-503-225-6000 and ask for Rm 104 B. Appearantly the cell phone does not work well where he is in the hospital. It seems to be hit and miss. Must be because of all the electronics and stuff there, the interference. So I am going to go to bed for now and hope to get some rest.
I can get internet herein the hospitality house and not have to pay for it. So will update as I can. Love to all. Ben and Illa
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Ben update, Sat. August 16
7:00 pm, Saturday, August 16, 2008
I just finished talking with Illa. She had gone back Bieber to attend to some duties at home. Illa had been with Ben since Wednesday, after taking him to Mercy Hospital (rm. 104B) in Redding because of the stomach pain that he was experiencing. We all know that Ben is a very macho kind of guy, so it must have been bad. He had complained about not feeling well since helping BJ with some moving over the weekend. Ben had attributed the pain to a strained muscle. What the doctor found out was that there was some type of bowel blockage.
Illa said that the tests this morning also confirmed that his Potassium was "critically low." He had been receiving Potassium once a day since being in and today the heart doctor upped the dosage to four dosages per day. He is receiving this through an IV.
He had a vacuum tube placed through his nasal cavity into his stomach just prior to us being there on Friday afternoon. This was inserted in hopes of vacating the blockage that was believed to be the cause of his discomfort. The matter that was being pulled up (150 cc) determined to be blood and not just digestive matter.
This morning, Saturday, for the first time there was blood in his urine. With the present swelling of the stomach, x-rays cannot determine where the blood may emanate from. Illa infers that the blood may come from an ulcer or possible bleeding from the intestines.
With Ben's present heart rate he is not a candidate for a pacemaker. During his last surgery his heart rate went down to about 20 BPM and they had trouble reviving him, so they want to be extra careful this time.
According to the last MRI in Dec. 2006 it was determined that the cancer had spread to his lungs and liver. Also, there was a tumor in his abdomen. Illa believes that this may be the cause of the present problems; possibly pressure, bleeding, or leakage or even growth into the affected organs.
The doctor has changed his pain medication. It is in addition to morphine, and is not self-administered but given every six hours. He still gets morphine every three hours so you can tell he is in a lot of pain.
Illa says that Ben would probably appreciate phone calls as she cannot be back there until Monday night at the earliest. He does not want people to see him unless you are making a trip this way. At the present time Illa says that he will be a minimum of five days, but possibly as much as ten days in the hospital, and that is without the surgery. With these new complications, she really expects it to be more in the ten day range possibly longer.
Ben does have a cell phone, but no charger. Illa said that he will have his phone on at 8 a.m., noon, and 6 p.m. for an hour at those times every day if you have the time to call him…with happy upbeat news.
(Illa) says, just know that Ben loves you all and that he was really glad to see you all at the reunion. We thought last year was going to be the last and he was happy he made it for another one. He has plans to see you all at the next one as long as it is at the ocean which is his favorite place. Can't keep him down as he is very strong minded. So just know that he will be there whether it is in body or spirit.
Try not to call Illa at home after 8:00 p.m.
Ben's cell: 530-260-0228
Illa's cell: 530-260-0876
Home: 530-294-5829
My home number if you have questions: 707 464-5659
Jim
I just finished talking with Illa. She had gone back Bieber to attend to some duties at home. Illa had been with Ben since Wednesday, after taking him to Mercy Hospital (rm. 104B) in Redding because of the stomach pain that he was experiencing. We all know that Ben is a very macho kind of guy, so it must have been bad. He had complained about not feeling well since helping BJ with some moving over the weekend. Ben had attributed the pain to a strained muscle. What the doctor found out was that there was some type of bowel blockage.
Illa said that the tests this morning also confirmed that his Potassium was "critically low." He had been receiving Potassium once a day since being in and today the heart doctor upped the dosage to four dosages per day. He is receiving this through an IV.
He had a vacuum tube placed through his nasal cavity into his stomach just prior to us being there on Friday afternoon. This was inserted in hopes of vacating the blockage that was believed to be the cause of his discomfort. The matter that was being pulled up (150 cc) determined to be blood and not just digestive matter.
This morning, Saturday, for the first time there was blood in his urine. With the present swelling of the stomach, x-rays cannot determine where the blood may emanate from. Illa infers that the blood may come from an ulcer or possible bleeding from the intestines.
With Ben's present heart rate he is not a candidate for a pacemaker. During his last surgery his heart rate went down to about 20 BPM and they had trouble reviving him, so they want to be extra careful this time.
According to the last MRI in Dec. 2006 it was determined that the cancer had spread to his lungs and liver. Also, there was a tumor in his abdomen. Illa believes that this may be the cause of the present problems; possibly pressure, bleeding, or leakage or even growth into the affected organs.
The doctor has changed his pain medication. It is in addition to morphine, and is not self-administered but given every six hours. He still gets morphine every three hours so you can tell he is in a lot of pain.
Illa says that Ben would probably appreciate phone calls as she cannot be back there until Monday night at the earliest. He does not want people to see him unless you are making a trip this way. At the present time Illa says that he will be a minimum of five days, but possibly as much as ten days in the hospital, and that is without the surgery. With these new complications, she really expects it to be more in the ten day range possibly longer.
Ben does have a cell phone, but no charger. Illa said that he will have his phone on at 8 a.m., noon, and 6 p.m. for an hour at those times every day if you have the time to call him…with happy upbeat news.
(Illa) says, just know that Ben loves you all and that he was really glad to see you all at the reunion. We thought last year was going to be the last and he was happy he made it for another one. He has plans to see you all at the next one as long as it is at the ocean which is his favorite place. Can't keep him down as he is very strong minded. So just know that he will be there whether it is in body or spirit.
Try not to call Illa at home after 8:00 p.m.
Ben's cell: 530-260-0228
Illa's cell: 530-260-0876
Home: 530-294-5829
My home number if you have questions: 707 464-5659
Jim
Thursday, August 14, 2008
The latest on Ben
I called Ben today (Thursday) and first got hold of Illa. They were at the hospital in Redding. I believe that he had been admitted into the on Wed. evening. He said that the doctor said he has a bowel obstruction. I got the impression that the doctor was trying to clear it with non-invasive methods first.
We'll stop by on Friday if he is still in the hospital.
Jim
We'll stop by on Friday if he is still in the hospital.
Jim
Monday, August 11, 2008
Lisi going home
Lueria called and just told me that Lis, will be going back to the apartment, in about three weeks, I will not be going back, I do need to remove myself. If you have any questions, please talk to Lueria, she's been great working and dealing with her mom. I look her father-in-law, up to see Lis, as they are good friends. It was great to see her and talk with her. She wanted to go to Suzy, but they feel that she'd have a break with moving again, maybe down the road. I agree, as it was so hard with moving, and she's in a great place. She has it made where she lives and it's a beautiful place, also I was not looking forward to moving her again, but what they said, I'm happy for. She has such a great team behind her. Love Lili
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Lili about Lisi
Dear All, Sis is doing great and looking forward to seeing family. She's talking about working with Suzanne on her future plan's. I support her all the way, and know that she'd do well working her program, and with Suzy..... Talked to Suzy and she plans on seeing Lisi Monday sometime, when that takes place I will support what Lis, wishes to work on and with my little sis. Once Suzy step's in, I will move away from working with Lisi, as she's in good hands and she needs a break from me. It is what she wishes and I honor her on this request, and feel that it is for the good for her, she's really moving forward and I am so proud of her.
Jess and I are going down to California on the 27th to see Jess's sister, 50 years in the marrage of Harold and Melva. Melva is Jess's sister. We are working on the place, and once I know what is going on, with Lis, then I will deal with moving what needs to be done. This will be a busy month, so going going with the wind at this time!!!! We plan on visiting family on the trip down to CA, so those on the way, don't be alarmed if we show our face. Love to all Lili
Jess and I are going down to California on the 27th to see Jess's sister, 50 years in the marrage of Harold and Melva. Melva is Jess's sister. We are working on the place, and once I know what is going on, with Lis, then I will deal with moving what needs to be done. This will be a busy month, so going going with the wind at this time!!!! We plan on visiting family on the trip down to CA, so those on the way, don't be alarmed if we show our face. Love to all Lili
Friday, August 8, 2008
Newest Project
This is our latest project. It is a jacuzzi bath tub. We got the tub for half price because of freight damage on one of the front panels so we cut out the panel and will make a whole front panel. We still have to put in the sheet rock and the finish stuff but it works. It is really great. Really helps the muscles and bone aches.
Ben and Illa
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Issues Issues Issues; ok, let's get some opinions
The best way to tell where a man stands is not what he says about "issues" during election season, but what he's been in his history. Most will say anything to get elected. Some people actually have the integrity to do what they say. Just because a man sounds pretty when he talks doesn't mean he'll do what he says. McCain has 26 years of integrity. This doesn't mean McCain is correct, or that he will not change his mind - we all change, and we are sometimes wrong. But the character of man is proven how he make these changes - from integrity, or from political pressure, or selling out.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
How Quickly One Forgets !!
This past week I had been feeling really down. So much so I didn't even want to work on my bike !! (and that's a "red flag" warning for me !! LOL It took Illa to figure it out. I had been back on my cancer pills as of monday and was taking a "double issue", I cut down to what I should be taking and felt a little better, today was the first day without any pills. I felt MUCH better today !! I am back to one week on and one off. I should have been taking them before the reunion but didn't want to feel bad during it. So those that like to gripe about how hard it was on their schedule,... guess what, I really don't want to hear it !!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)