Loving one another

Bonding. One thing about a family that I have always appreciated; and I think this blog represents, and Jim brought it up when he first got the idea of a family blog, and I quote, “A central cyberspace place to post that which interests us or that which others may find interesting informative or maybe even downright annoying. Basically a place to share, vent, and converse.”

So here goes: I figure I am sometimes that “annoying” Jim spoke of, but isn't that what families do? The members of any family may not all agree, however, hopefully they have bonded enough to be able to talk with one another about almost anything. People are supposed to be diverse and varied in their opinions. God didn't make us exactly the same, he created us different for a purpose. This provides checks and balances in every institution, including the family. Supposedly we all have a right to our erroneous opinions.

Once, while at a marriage seminar Karen and I attended, the speaker told us, "feelings are neither right or wrong, they just are". The practical reason for this statement tells me that I can't judge a way a person feels, since they are a product of their life situations. For instance, you can't just tell someone who's depressed, 'hey, cheer up will ya'. Then think badly of them when they can't. By the way, this is really important in marriage; often my wife feels emotional for some really complicated reasons. My job, as her husband, is to do everything I can do to help her feel better. Sometimes that means me leaving the room!

All that to say, let's not imagine that family life is a wonderful series of agreements, that's a fairly tale. In our function of a family we will "annoy" one another from time to time. But that will not be the context of our relationship. The important thing to remember, Family, by God's design is to be there for each other.

Let this be understood, there is no opinion, no doctrine, no relationship, or behavior you can participate in, that will cause me to cease loving you. That is the 'normal' way families are supposed to be. Notice, I did not say 'average'; what God has ordained is "normal". Most of us are living in the "average". I know very little of how most of you were raised, but I do know a little of Jim and Chuck's raising. Some of you have the letters I scanned that were from Helen to Betty, mom to Helen and so on. If you read these letters you'll see that unconditional love is possible. Helen showed us this. Look at your own love of your children, you love them regardless. That is fairly natural and easy to accomplish, it gets a little harder with brothers and sisters.

Many of our family, not having gone through the formative bonding years of our youth, we're going to have some times of testing, but that's OK. God will get us through. The important thing, is to never give up on each other. Peter